I find the negative perceptions of ADHD in society to be fascinating. Lazy, unmotivated and uncaring are polar opposites of the majority of my clients. Admittedly, anyone working with a coach needs to be in a place where they are willing to be honest, open and fully committed to putting in the work. No habit has ever been broken or a new process formed by just showing up once a week so we don’t work together without that strong motivation in place.
However, it is not just my amazing clients that I see this in but also my dear friends. A strong motivation, overlaid with a streak of perfectionism that in the past has often been thwarted by lack of effective processes that work with their strengths. Peeling back the layers, we often find that the strong perfectionism streak has turned into a block that prevents them from taking action in the first place. This is expressed in thoughts such as:
-If I don’t turn in a project then I won’t be judged on my actual abilities
-If it can’t be perfect then it is not worth doing at all, the first bump in the road is a sign of impending failure so it is best to just cut my losses.
-I have put my heart and soul into projects before and they didn’t turn out well. Why put myself through that pain again?
I will tell you exactly why it is worth the effort and why your past does not need to dictate your future.
First, you are not the exact same person that you were in the past and there are some very valuable things learned from a failure. Is the word “failure” even accurate if it teaches us something? I think not. If you don’t know what that lesson is yet, once we unearth it can be used to create a blueprint for improvement the next time and the time after that.
Added to the fact of the difference in the present “you”, when you are serious about making changes you build a support system for yourself. Hiring a coach, medication, counselors, exercise, meditation – the list of tools that you may not have had before grows and grows.
Last but not least, break the perfectionism block by getting clear on your priorities and remember that every project is not life or death. Sometimes it is okay to just be good enough on some tasks – get clear on what those areas are and measure out your time and effort to match. Once mastered, this can be very powerful and will go a long way in reducing overall stress.
Remember, no one is perfect and that is perfectly okay!
Guest Blogger- Kimber Nelson