Book Excerpt: Match or Mismatch: Is This Relationship Meant to Be?

One of the common areas in which coaching obstacles may arise involves situations in which the coach and the client simply don’t click. Sometimes that lack of compatibility is sensed by the client; sometimes it’s detected by the coach; sometimes both client and coach feel it. When a lack of compatibility is felt on the side of the client, this may manifest in a variety of ways.  For example, the young client may

  • feel that the coach is pushy and trying to tell the client what to do
  • find the coach to be boring or businesslike
  • find the coach to be too buddy-buddy
  • have difficulty following the pace and processing style of the coach
  • be unable or unwilling to trust in the coaching process with a relative stranger.

On the coach’s side, an incompatibility may exist when the coach

  • feels that he or she is doing all of the work and that there is no effort from the client
  • does not make a connection with the client
  • senses that the client is very uncomfortable in coaching sessions
  • does not relate to the client’s style or personality
  • dreads the upcoming coaching session with a particular client.